The 5 R’s (steps!) to a better money marriage with your spouse.
It is no secret that between our spouse and ourselves, we can have two completely different forms of money ideas. Further than that, we were raised on different money values, and ideas. This sometimes makes for an interesting marriage of our money (in our marriage!) and our communication with money! 
I know that until my husband and I started communicating about money, we fought constantly. Until I understood his past values and where he was coming from – and we were able to make a plan that worked for both of us now and for the future, nothing in our money marriage, worked.
If this sounds like you, here is a quick rundown (while the results might not be quick) of what I suggest that you do:

  1. Recognize. Recognize that there are money differences and that neither one is good or bad, right or wrong, just different.
  2. Report.  Come together with ideas and plans for your future. This is difficult because your ideas may or may not be the same, or some may be the same, but not all of them. Speaking and listening will be important. Understanding the approach of your spouse, taking notes, responding and being clear, concise and calm will be very important. It can be easy to go back to “fighting about money” but remember you are here to stop all of that and move forward!
  3. Reconcile. Hopefully the two of YOU do not need to reconcile, but your ideas might need to. You might need to reconcile your ideas and come up with a plan that works for your family. For example, the way you and your spouse were raised can establish all kinds of money patterns as adults. If you were raised knowing that money was limited, you might continue to expect to live that way as an adult or desire to spend everything because you weren’t able to do as a child. If you received anything you wanted growing up, it might be hard in a marriage not to get everything you want OR you might not want your children to have the same thing you did. Regardless, your desires for money in your marriage and your family, are strong but the important thing is that you are now US and US has to be a decision vs. ME. Both people now have to come to a plan together. 
  4. Revisit. I find this VERY important. A change in behavior is not going to happen overnight (do you remember your children!?) so do not expect it, out of yourselves. This is a BIG change to make a change to your finances for the better and for the rest of your lives (which is what you are doing!). Often, if you have decided to work together but do not know how or need education on how to be successful financially, there are financial counselors who can help! Remember, it will take some time, stick with it and love each other through it.
  5. Reward. Reward you and your spouse for the hard work you completed. Rinse and repeat, if needed.

Source: Blogger Import

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    June 7, 2016 at 7:03 pm
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